


Higher Math

by ethereousdelirious



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Background Poly, Bonding, Caretaking, Emotional Constipation, Flashbacks, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Relationship, Sleep, Sleep Paralysis, Tony Stark Lives, Whumptober 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-13 07:27:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29024949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ethereousdelirious/pseuds/ethereousdelirious
Summary: [Originally written for Whumptober 2020; Prompt: Waking Up Restrained. Per the tags, I altered it a bit.](In some nebulous post-canon/canon-divergent reality,) Tony tries his best to get Stephen to open up about his trauma. Stephen is unable to get past his own pride until a nightmare brings his walls down by force.(In short, Stephen experiences sleep paralysis for the first time while spending the night at Tony's).
Relationships: Tony Stark & Stephen Strange, Tony Stark/Stephen Strange
Comments: 1
Kudos: 35





	Higher Math

**Author's Note:**

> If this is your first time reading my writing, allow me to apologize for that god-awful summary!!! I'm so bad at writing them and I feel like it reflects badly on the fic. Ugh.
> 
> Anyway, I probably won't be posting more from my Whumptober 2020 attempt because, as you will soon see, it turned into H/C. All of it. But I liked this entry :)
> 
> This is pretty much an exercise in deconstructing toxic masculinity using traumatic events that happened in canon as a framework because that shit has consequences. Goddd I want the MCU to be queer so bad
> 
> Also, Pepper and Tony are poly in this
> 
> CW: Mentions of torture that happened in canon

Dr Stephen Strange had never been one for friendship, even after his rigorous training in Nepal. The Ancient One, after all, had placed no particular emphasis on such lovey-dovey nonsense as  _ teamwork _ and  _ open, honest communication _ .

Still, after getting tortured in front of, and subsequently saving the world with, someone, it was hard not to think of them as a friend.

Even  _ if _ that someone was world-class asshole Tony Stark.

Stephen sighed and drained the last of his old fashioned. He'd had a bit too much, but then _today_ had been a bit too much, what with all the trauma flashbacks.

"You drunk enough to talk about it yet?" Tony asked from across the lounge. They were holed up in Stark Tower because of course they were, and the lounge was big enough that Tony had to raise his voice to be heard.

"You know," Stephen responded, "when I said I needed space, that wasn't  _ quite _ what I meant."

"You want me to come closer?" Tony was already getting up to do so. "I knew you couldn't resist me." He stepped behind the bar and refilled Stephen's glass. "Last one before I cut you off, got it?"

"What are you, my mother?"

"No. That would be creepy." Tony sat down at the stool next to Stephen. "I do wish you'd talk to me, though. Really."

"Oh, good," Stephen said. "I just read this  _ fascinating  _ article about anaplastic astrocytoma treatments and--"

"Not what I meant."

Stephen took a long drink. "What is there to say? That I can remember where every one of those needles hit my skin? That I watched you -- all of you -- die a million horrific deaths. That  _ I've _ died a million horrific deaths?"

"I mean, yeah," Tony said. "That's a good start." He finished off his drink and stole Stephen's off the bar.

Stephen scoffed. "It's not going to _ help _ ."

"You could talk to a professional."

"Oh, so they can dope me up on sedatives and send me on my way? No thanks."

To Stephen's surprise, Tony actually looked sad. It vanished in an instant and he shrugged. "Well, let me know if you change your mind. I know some people."

"So do I," Stephen retorted, mostly for the sake of getting in the last word. He let his eyes sink closed and let the world spin. "I should go."

"I think you should  _ stay,"  _ Tony said. Probably for the sake of getting in the last word. Bastard.

"Sure." Stephen let the word fall out of his mouth before his sluggish higher reasoning could kick in and stop him. He wanted to stay. "Pepper won't mind?"

"Pep's spending the night with one of our regional branch managers," Tony said. "Detroit, I think? The  _ legs  _ on that woman."

"Oh."

"Why, did you have something in mind? I don't think you're up for much of anything."

Stephen's mind finally caught up with the conversation and he was powerless to stop the blush that dominated his face. " _ No!  _ No, I-- Maybe this is a bad idea."

"Relax, I'm just teasing you," Tony said. He hopped down off the stool and motioned for Stephen to follow him. "C'mon, I'll let you have the coolest guest room."

-

Tony said good night and what remained of Stephen's good mood vanished along with him, the elevator doors sealing Stephen in with his anxiety. He brushed his teeth without much care, changed into a spare set of pajamas that Tony had lent him, and staggered off to bed.

Sleep didn't come easy. Alcohol was known to disrupt normal sleep cycles, and Stephen spent a long while staring at the ceiling trying not to think. The room rocked like a ship on rough waters. His heart pounded. He couldn't seem to get enough air.

His chest rose and fell weakly until he became aware that it wasn't enough-- He couldn't breathe. Ebony Maw had him tied down, but the bindings were too tight across his chest.

Stephen tried to cast a spell, to yell for help, but he couldn't move. His chest spasmed and in the corner, Ebony Maw laughed.

The waiting was the worst part. Stephen was there on his back, unable to move or breathe properly, and there was no pain. His friends needed him, Earth needed him, and he could only wait for something to happen. Fear clouded the corners of his mind, a vignette growing narrower and narrower until all he could focus on was the raw terror gripping his spasming heart.

He. Couldn't. Breathe.

The illusion shattered with the sensation of someone's hand on his shoulder. Stephen sat up, gasping for breath, and nearly headbutted Tony.

"You're okay, you're safe," Tony said. "It's just us, you and me."

Stephen, still panting, looked around. Dim lights revealed the guest bedroom where he'd fallen asleep. Nothing amiss. He kept drawing in deep breaths, relishing the ache in his diaphragm.

Seeing that Stephen wasn't up for talking, Tony continued, "FRIDAY told me you were displaying some irregular breathing patterns so I thought it'd be best to come in here and wake you up myself."

"Thank you," Stephen gasped, still trying to shake off the feeling of being watched. "Ebony Maw is dead," he said, half to himself and half so Tony would confirm it for him.

"Super dead, killed him twice."

"Yeah."

"Can I touch you?" At Stephen's wary glance, Tony hovered his hand a few inches over Stephen's back.

"Fine." Stephen was almost ashamed at how much better he felt when Tony closed the gap. His hand was pleasantly warm and then touched grounded Stephen, made him feel safe.

" _ Now _ do you want to talk about it?" Tony asked.

Stephen shook his head and took another deep breath. "Would you… stay with me?"

Tony smiled at him. "Sure thing. But if we're spending the night together, we're doing it in  _ my  _ bed."

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> As always, I wrote the whole thing on my phone so feel free to point out any autocorrect weirdness you noticed. I do my best to edit, but alas I'm not perfect 
> 
> I'm not BIG into the MCU but... my sickfic writing Tumblr is EthereousDelirious and I do take requests. Wink.


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